Mommy why...?

Ever been asked the question "mommy why...?" followed by anything from as simple as why the sky is blue to as complex as to why do we die? My four-year-olds questions are rather easy to answer. They usually have to do with colors, shapes, and letters. My eight-year-olds questions aren't so bad either; they usually pertain to tennis, math questions, playdates and his "why's" are usually why I have said "no". My twelve-year-olds questions used to be difficult, but now they are a bit easier; they usually pertain to make-up, clothes, friends and homework (have to admit that in the latter, I don't always have the answers...guess I'm not "smarter than a 7th grader")! It is the eleven-year-olds questions that have always thrown me into the depths of my soul searching for answers to not just appease him, but also set him at ease.

The other night, he could not sleep and asked if I would lay next to him. I knew it was "question/answer" time. He laid quietly for a moment and then asked, "mom, why to bad things happen to good people?" God, a question I have asked myself thousands of times and had yet to find the answer. What do I say? How do I ease his obvious sadness. In my silence, he went on to ask, "why do people have to die?" "How are you so sure that there is a God, a heaven?" OK...I was still spiraling from question number 1...now what do I say? I decided to say what I silently say to myself when these questions arise in my heart and mind.

I answered simply, "I believe in God because He has shown me comfort in moments of pain and in moments of happiness. I have never seen Him, but I believe he surrounds us. Your grandfather taught you that as well by saying his prayers daily and reassuring you of all that he had witnessed in life to prove that a greater force was guiding humanity." This, by the way, came from a man who had seen his share of many and unfortunate losses from one of his son's dying to his wife being hit by a car to siblings dying to surviving wars and hard financial times. Yet, he was steadfast in his beliefs and in God. He made certain to share that belief with all of us he loved and with those who would listen. Reminding my son about his grandfather managed to at least let him take a deep breath; remembering his grandfather seems to do that to all of us.

"So why do bad things happen to good people?" "I don't know son, but live a good life and be the best human being you can be so that when you rest your head on your pillow at night, you know that you lived well and treated those around you justly; wake up the next day with the objective to continue being true to yourself. Watch for signs of God in everything; open your heart to 'hearing' Him and you'd be surprised how often He'll answer." I went on to tell him that if we spend our time looking for the bad or only seeing the bad or not even attempting to right a wrong then we are living a life that is full of sorrow and that is not what life is supposed to be about. Being happy and sharing your happiness...now that's living! In my mind I was thinking that an eleven-year-old doesn't need to bear "the weight of the world".

As I left the bed with a son now fast asleep and seemingly at peace, I couldn't help think about something I had heard...a spoonful of salt in a cup of water would be very distasteful to drink, but a spoonful of salt in a gallon of water would be easier to drink. What does that mean to me/you... if you could put all the bad into a spoonful, but make the world a gallon of good...then the world would be a much more "tasteful" place to exist.

To say I am not apprehensive of what my son's next "mommy why..." question will be wouldn't be a truthful statement, but with each question and with each day's experiences, I am getting more adept at answering because I have learned to "hear" more with my heart.