Foundations

When raising children, you have to constantly reflect on what you are teaching them and the foundations you are setting for them. Are you imparting your baggage on them? Living vicariously through them? Giving them the freedom to fly? or, ideally, "all of the above". "Your baggage", to me, means burdens you have not been able to overcome no matter how hard you have tried and the journey towards resolution remains one you are willing to undertake. Living "vicariously" through the children, again to me, means seeing the dreams you left unrealized, for whatever reason(s), being brought to life by your children and finally, the "freedom to fly"...to let the children literally see no boundaries and to "fly"/wonder/ponder/explore as they wish. The freedom to be who there are meant to be.

In trying to understand my reasonings for how I raise my children, I have come to realize that the reasons are many and sometimes hard to define, but they all center around one theme....let your children be all that they desire to be; they have seen or learned about your past and the concerns that have risen in your mind; the concerns that guide you when making decisions for their well-being. I have learned from the past in such a way that I want to make certain that my children know that the future holds no limits and finally, if you [the children] don't mind, I would love to share in your journey as your grow and become responsible citizens and adults.

Last night, I took my daughter to her tennis match while my husband took the boys to theirs. My daughter lost one set and tied in the second set before time ran out. She was a far superior player to her opponent (and I do not say this boastfully; I am just stating a matter of fact), but in the car, she started to cry. I turned to her and told her that she lost because she tried to "outplay" her opponent. She had seen her opponent's weaknesses and thought it would be an easy win...well God, and the game of tennis, quickly humbled her. You play to YOUR abilities and to the best of YOUR abilities...you do not worry about your opponent or think to yourself,"this is an easy win." Being humble and true to yourself and your abilities is key. She lost, in essence, because she believed the "game was in the bag!" It was a hard lesson, but truly a worthwhile one.

I recall a saying my uncle had once shared with me and forgive my translation..."The tree that has only a few fruits hanging from her branches, flails her branches in the air for all to see; as if to say, "hey look at me and the fruit I bare." Whereas the tree, laden with fruit, so much so that it's branches "bow" to the ground because the fruit is so heavy upon it, is being humble and not flailing her branches - everyone can see she is rich with fruit.

So on that note, an again with a tree analogy, a person must find richness within themselves and share that with others in a manner that is humble and respectful not to mention having appreciation for being so blessed. To take this analogy a little further, even to be so laden with fruit, your roots must be deep and in fertile soil. In other words, enrich your soul with things that will make it fertile and enable it to bare fruit.