Shadows

When you look back, are there things you wish you could change, relive, forget? I know I would never want to "go back" in time, but why do I still think about it? I call these memories shadows because they follow me relentlessly. Even if the sun is shining brightly down on me, there's a shadow directly beneath me as if mocking me and saying "you may be blinded by the beauty of the sun and day, but I am still here, underfoot, and waiting."

I'm not scared of my shadow, but lately I've been more aware of it. My father was hospitalized and although he is old and has many medical issues...he is definitely one of my shadows! My mother is another...but don't all children grow up and say the same thing? The other day, my son says to me, "mom, if it continues to rain will the little flowers drown." I replied, by saying "yes, it's possible, but hopefully the flowers need the water and will be fine." I started thinking of the analogy of "showering something with too much water, as in rain, or with other things, like too much love, hate, disregard, too much regard/interference...doesn't it all tend to drown a person? I believe yes. Then a child "showered" by these different emotions has to learn to swim or drown in the environment it is growing. These thoughts were mulling in my head as I drove and I couldn't help but think what am I "showering" on those around me; those I love? I may view it as love, concern, but what do they, the children or family or friends view it as?

So then my mind continues on this path, what if, instead of "showering" people with all my emotions, I just let them come and go as they please. Meaning, not trying so hard to please or to change things or to make things better or different. Just let things be and grow; watered of course; guided of course; loved and nurtured, but not "showered" upon. What would happen?

I believe that individuals would thrive knowing that that there is someone always there for them, but that are meant to grow as individuals. Maybe their shadows wouldn't be mocking them later in life...maybe their shadows would just be "tagging along for the ride."